Wednesday, June 04, 2008
waoh... back to writing blog again, but then again, almost everytime i write in a blog, it is about something bad la so ya...
bad week for me... ended the last with a bang on Aristal 2008 at UCC. it is definitely something that will be in my memories forever de! haha... so fun dancing with all my friends and cca mates and juniors once again... realise that it is actually one of the things i look forward to everytime for the past 1-2 mths...over just like that! oh man... i'll miss that period of time!
started the following day bad... initially planned to go out... but a fever broke out, and vomiting followed, later diarrhea... and diarrhea... and diarrhea... for 2 consecutive days... must be the food i ate la... but ya... went on for like 2 days? came out all water...total loss of appetite... sux man the feeling... totally made me feel like dying...
monday came and i still havent recover, so took mc and rest at home... only to keep having diarrhea as usual...sucky days went by, but tuesday still came and it was still book in day...
sigh... the following stuff made my day totally bad... just felt depressed and worried and stuff... all this book in thing is still not being used to by me... been so long already, but im still like tt... week after week i worry... week after week i fear... for wadeva things i oso dunno... i only scare i nvr do this nvr do that, do this wrong get screwed, do tt wrong oso get screwed...
sigh...not like im not getting these moods suddenly, but that day was unusually bad...i really felt like just giving up...felt so tired...so mentally exhausted...sigh...oh well...guess i have to get used to it ba...cos im a clerk...and my life is so much better than other ppl...cos im a clerk and it is v slack...sigh...oh well...wad more can i say?
this life is so bleak...being in camp is like so suffocating...salvation seem so far away..........the day im truly saved will be that day i ORD... only then can i truly feel happy i guess...
thanks dear...for being with me thru this period of my life...i really dun think i can ever push on without u...and also friends...for the past few months, dancing with frens, it really made me feel happy! truly truly happy! so sad it's all over... everything's over... now it's all NS and NS and NS and NS... nth but NS............
~Ch3nDo|~
9:48 PM
// i felt!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
whee~ a nice day at the zoo! wahaha~
after the past few days when everything doesnt seem just right, finally a day which is really happy! wahaha~
went to the zoo for a date!lol~ tho it doesnt sound like a nice place for a date at first, but it turned out otherwise! it's actually quite a nice place to walk arnd and enjoy each other's company=)
first stop we went to look at the white tigers. the male tiger was horny la! all of a sudden went over to the female tiger who seemed to be sleeping and started humping the female hahahaha! everyone started laughing like hell la! cos the female totally not interested and was like continue sleeping there.. sad case for the male tiger lol~ the male tiger din even get to go into the correct hole la... hahaha!
then went on to see the kangaroos and animals tt can be found in the australian outback~ followed by snakes~ orang utans~ polar bears~ cheetahs~ lions~ rhinos~ giraffes~ etc etc etc~
whole trip was quite short tho~ luckily managed to finish the zoo before it started raining~ wahaha~ took quite a lot of photos too! heh~ oh man~ wonder when the next trip will be and where will it be? wahaha~ i wan to go on more dates! lol~
anyway~ happy 18th month dear@!!=D
~Ch3nDo|~
8:07 PM
// i felt!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
not exactly the best of day for me... started out fine in the morning... felt v lazy to do work so i lazed arnd... slowly slowly noting down stuff i have to complete... by afternoon came i was looking forward to the end of the day... then work started flowing in... need to print out certs... print BRO... etc etc... and dy suddenly told me got something to tell me! great, it's in those kind of grave tones that you surely know something bad is going to happen... so i waited... and waited.. voila, conference over... came out and i heard i might be signing extras! wahaha wad a piece of good news... i surely done myself in! f***... why?? cos i nvr schedule someone from my dept who hasnt cleared atp for the shoot next monday! and it's all too late cos imt was today! and they wanna find someone to shoot! and that's me! how nice! im justing waiting for the bullets to reach me... haha... wad a nice way to end the day eh? so damn bu gan yuan... how the shit am i supposed to monitor every single one and every single shoot??? damn it... it's not like i dun have my stuff to settle la dammit... so f***ing pissed!!! arh!!! and im already trying to avoid mistakes as much as i can and here it comes! carelessness... guard down... extras come... f***ed up life la! do i everyday have to worry bout when im going to get screwed?? i'll just go crazy la! how am i supposed to know everything and do everything??? dammit... AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
~Ch3nDo|~
9:02 PM
// i felt!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
woooots~ realised this is the 1st entry i m going to write for the year 2008 lol~ have been too lazy to touch this blog le la hahaha~ not like i got much stuff to update also lol... everyday, every week just going into camp and squat there doing work, busying myself from morning to night... all the after office hours can slack thing sometimes are just so nonsense... haha.. oops there i go again...=P
now that the HR audit is over, tot can finally relax le, but it seems im quite wrong bout it... the low key period is far from coming la... everyone in my department tot can slack le, but right after the audit more stuff came in for us to complete... Certificate of services, afrs, charge reports. . . etc etc... everyone got stuff to do once agian la... somemore got the mobilisation thing... need do tagging and shit... why cant they just cut us some slack? damn it... haha...
nvm, now im currently on MC~ dun care wad u all gonna say la... wad chao geng... wadeva la~ if i dun try to get MC for my 2 yrs in army, i would not have really been in the army le la... army life is bout getting out of work at times de lo... came to the realisation that one cannot be too devoted to his work in the army, esp NSFs, if not the organisation will just leech u dry... as in seriously LEECH you dry... they just take it for granted that you are there to "help" them... so better learn how to siam some of the work ba~
yesterday just went to pluck my last set of wisdom teeth. wah lao eh dunno why this time more uncomfortable than the first time la! dammit it... the doc who operated on me this time like bit more rough sia... i can practically feel him using the tweezers to pull out my teeth la! if not for the anaestethics i will have died of pain i think=S now suffering the backlash of the extraction...right side of my mouth like weird weird one... can feel the throbbing in my gums lol... and for dunno how many days i wont be able to touch solid food... sigh... oh well~ for that one week MC i think this is wad i get ba~ hahaha~ think it's still worth it~ lol...
hopefully this sat the mobilisation will only start in the afternoon after lunch... if not ar... my first dance prac when the choreographing officially start will be missed... cannot la... i dun wanna miss the first one hahaha... scarly got pair dance then i missed it then how? LOL! cannot cannot~ wahaha~ looking forward to this sat~ wheee~~~=DDD
January 08 le~ one more year left! jiayou ba~! let the time pass and get out of the sucky camp once and for all!!
~Ch3nDo|~
11:29 AM
// i felt!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
i was thinking to myself suddenly just now... why do i dread going back to camp every week... why am i so scared of having so much work? no matter how much i tell myself all those work are actually not tt much, just need to slowly finish, i cant ever persuade myself that it IS actually gonna get completed... everday i go back in, i find that work that is completed will soon be overwritten by new tasks. work not completed just added on to my to-do list... it is just so... so hateful!!!
sort of realised the answer to my question... i fear going back to camp and doing all those work... i fear that i will do it wrongly... i fear that because of that error i will be given extra duties... i fear that my rights of being allowed to go home on weekends will be wrestled away from me... i fear the scoldings from all the higher ranks...
so many fears... how am i going to maintain my sanity for 14 mths? i know i might sound like im just grumbling... just pure complaining... cos im just a lowly clerk... clerks are the slackest job anw... what's there to complain bout? i dun need to go through grueling physical training, i dun need to do outfield, i dun need to do alot of other stuff that combatants do... so what rights do i have to complain??
i wonder too... why am i complaining? why? am i just too lazy? just too lazy to want to do anything? i dunno... maybe i AM lazy... that's why i complain... everyone else goes to camp, who am i to complain anyway?
forget it.............
~Ch3nDo|~
8:45 PM
// i felt!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
oh man...how much worse can this get...din ever think tt i'll be in camp at this time...esp when it's not officially my duty...but wad can i do? sigh...suay suay today im the reserve duty clerk... and bo yang has fever... sigh... suck thumb lor... haha...
sry dear... this made things worse for u... birthday in the period of major exams is bad enuff... im in camp and i cant do much to celebrate your birthday...sry dear...but still! i wanna wish you a very very very happy birthday!!=)
i know this isnt much, but this is the most i can do in camp le ya? dun worry we'll celebrate our birthdays tgt on mine then~=)hopefully i dun suay until tt day my brithday off have to be eaten off again... if really so... wah... this month really sucks to the core le lor... then i'll really be v pissed le... stupid SAF... stupid NS... haiz... and i still have duty on this tuesday! ARH!!!!
roar~!shldnt go think bout these lousy stuff!grrr... let this lousy 2 yrs pass!haha...
Deardear now officially 18 yrs old le!=D tt's a gd thing!wahaha~not small girl le lo~18 yrs old is maturity age le right?lol~sooooon going uni le leh~know deardear these few months v stressed out becos of your A lvls but hang in there ya?it'll all be over soon de=) and dun keep thinking u cant go uni ya?u nvr know until u try and i believe u can de!even i oso go into uni le lo!i nvr study alot alot like most ppl and yet i manage to squeeeeeze into uni...u study so much confirm can de!=D
so here i wish deardear a happy 18th birthday! and more happy birthdays to come tt we can celebrate tgt k? i promise u tt!=) <3
~Ch3nDo|~
9:34 AM
// i felt!
Friday, July 06, 2007
hmmm~ it din occur to me i would end up writing tonight once again till a while ago... before tt you were still telling me tt u like to read my entry de then i dun intend to write today cos i dun wan to let it seem like i wrote just to show u tt i blog haha... but now there's something to blog about le...
din feel anything bout it until just now when i was chatting with my camp mate... this morning got a phone call from my upper study and he lectured me bout being irresponsible cos i nvr get anyone specifically to follow up on my job of looking for 20 goretex jackets... think tt ttally ruined my off day ba... for once i tot i could get my mind off the usual trying to complete my job routine and have a nice rest at home, but apparently i cant ba... all cos i left behind an incomplete job...
i manage to find bout 15 goretex jackets and bout 4 other which might be at the owners' homes, and with tt i went home... fine i din really ask anyone in specific to take over my job, but i did tell my other frens tt ppl might come over and hand the jackets... so in the end today some complications occur and apparently not all the jackets came...so end up my job isnt completed... and NO ONE knew bout following up for me... cos apparently "everyone's business is nobody's business". no one helped out cos i din pinpoint specifically... ok... i got scolded for tt... well shld i just say i deserve tt scolding? i suppose it's for my own gd ba... cos if i nvr get it done tomolo i will get scolded nonetheless... but really ruined my day... my whole off day...gone like the wind...up to now do i feel all the damn frustration building up in me...so bloody frustrated...all cos of how an organisation works...guess it;s not easy to take offs ba...or shld i say im just pure stupid to take an off today knowing i din FULLY complete my job? anything la... take it as a lesson learnt...........im just irrespponsible la ya? shall take it as tt ba... it's just my fault...
sry dear...nvr tell u this but ya dun wanna ruin ur mood cos just now i still ok de... until i began talking bout it with my camp mate...then all these emotions got over me...but i glad nvr talk to u bout it cos i used alot of vulgarities cos of my frustrations...guess im feeling better now le ba?
~Ch3nDo|~
9:41 PM
// i felt!
