Monday, January 30, 2006
oh well... went to paternal side family there for reunion lunch. din really felt like going... not even close to most of them there... anyway went still and seriously was so bored there. practically faced the tv watching programmes , sms-ing ppl with oni jasmine replying and occassionally answer my grandma's questions... like so insincere. but i seriously have nth to tok to her bout!=\ what's more i dun speak teo chew... i cant even half understand it. when my cousins came and they were happily chatting in dialect i can oni smile bitterly even tho i understand nuts about wad they toking, which is totally such a fako. dammit... argh hated this part of cny every year... and it oni have to happen to me... oni me... look at my cousins with all their new phones. all 3 have their own 3g phones. nokia N70... nokia 3230... etc... me? samsung featureless phone. forget it. tt is not the main thing. sometimes i just wonder... would tings have been different if my family was still whole. whenever my mum talks bout her decision of divorcing... i would console her tt she did the right thing... it dint bother me the least bit. maybe it din bother me in the past when i was young, but now as i grow older, i am beginning to wonder... just what does it feel like to live in a whole family? would things have been better if my mum nvr filed for divorce? would things be better? i doubt i will ever find the asnwer, but i will always tell my mum tt things would not have been better. argh.. i dunno la... but i will nvr let her know of all these, cause it will only make her guilty which i dun think she should be feeling. it's not her fault. i can blame no one either... i dun even know exactly wad happen... forget it... shant think so much... it will be a better day tomolo.
~Ch3nDo|~
11:56 PM
// i felt!
